Julian BakerJulian Baker is a Energy EFT Master Practitioner & Modern Stress Management Professional in High Wycombe, Bucks, England & Chesham, Bucks, England
Welcome: If you’ve arrived here because of stress, you've probably just about had enough of having had enough, so you will know the down side of prolonged stress very well. If true, leave the technical stuff till later and look at what Energy EFT can do for you. Then scroll down to the different conditions that cause you stress and unhappiness, as this will be more interesting.
Stress as defined by Oxford Dictionaries: Stress is Mental or Emotional Strain or Tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
How stress effects your body: Stress can be defined as the way you feel when you are under abnormal and prolonged sustained pressure. This can manifest as headaches, aches, pains, tense muscles, insomnia, frequent colds & infections, loss of sexual desire and the capability to perform, low energy, upset stomach, irregular heartbeat, palpitations, bruxism, irregular vision, constipation and nausea. In the extreme condition, when the immune system becomes weakened and compromised by excessive and prolonged stress, this can result in the recurrence of secondary cancers and other equally debilitating and potentially terminal conditions.
Mental & Emotional effects of Long Term Stress: Signs of long term stress include; worrying, panic attacks, prolonged feelings of either being out of control, or you may experience tearfulness, excessive temper, rage, bad language, irritability, self-harming, depression, inability to make decisions, or communicate, irrational fears, and phobias. You may also feel you’re being picked on, bullied, marginalised, having a sense that you can’t quite put your finger on atmospheres when meeting friends. Growing social dependency on hand held devices, gambling, binge eating, drug and alcohol abuse, excessive consumption of coffee and high energy sugary drinks are all common factors.
Energy EFT can make a difference to the following states of mind, bringing about healing and happiness, so please read on:
Long standing unresolved trauma and PTSD: Many people are actually afraid to let go and heal. This is because their identity and life is focused on and centered around the trauma's they've experienced and they have no idea who they really are as a human beings outside of their trauma. Having to continuously deal with their suppressed emotions and their recurring unknown, unknowns, can be truly terrifying and emotionally debilitating.
Look in the mirror: What do you see? What do you identify with? Your stress, a particular problem, teeth too big, ginger hair, too fat, too thin, a disability maybe? Go beyond that, what underpins your stress? Sometimes we thrive on our worries because its easier doing that, than thinking outside the box. Do you worry about another person and effectively nag them. “You don't eat enough, you drink too much, you're always working." What would happen in this instance to your stress levels, if you didn't react and instead let them get on with it. You can still love them, but if they dont eat enough and drink too much, or over work, what happens? If you stop worrying and stand back a bit giving them the emotional space needed, they may be able to change their ways, as the two of you will no longer be co-dependants. Imagine being free. If your stressed because of overwork, have you gone to your manager and had your say? Are you stressed because people pick on you? Are you a victim? Do colleagues take their frustrations out on you? It's obvious that many people are afraid to heal and let go, because they indentify with the inner voice re-confirms they are a chocoholic, unlovable or useless etc. Letting go of the problem, that you indentify with, can be difficult if you try to suppress it by not thinking about it, because you cant't just unlearn what you've learnt traumatically. So let’s explore these aspects further.
Social Media controls you: Can you, hands on heart as you read this, say with any conviction that you truly and completely and deeply love yourself, irrespective of your age, issues and current situation? Take some time out, sit down and ask yourself "Am I good enough?" Do I feel good enough? Have you thought that the information that pops up in your inbox, makes you feel everything else apart from good enough? Do you realise that your emails, text marketting messages, face book or instagram feeds, which consistently feed off and track your google searches and social media likes, may make you feel inadequate and inferior? Of course they do, as that’s what they are designed to do. From your window on the world hidden away at home, looking at life through a mobile, pad, lap top or T.V. does everyone else appear to have everything sussed apart from you? Social media has that capacity to make you feel inadequate and stressed. Listen how the volume is ratched up when TV adverts come on, of even worse, how high the volume increases for adverts at a cinema? Its all part of media intrusion and brain washing designed to make you think, feel and act in a certain way! Depending on the time of day T.V. adverts will tell you indirectly that your teeth are yellow, your overweight by implication because most clothing brands use skinny models, your broke so take out a loan at 1499% interest, then the next advert will create an impression that gambling on line is fun and social, your dentures are loose and when you get to certain age, you wet yourself if you laugh too much. Little wonder that over time the consistent subliminal drip, drip feed of advertising creates an ever increasing 'must have' need. Go to google and search for a holiday and see how quickly travel companies appear in your spam box and normal emails. This is what we are all up against on a daily basis. Just reflecting on the media now, can you see how it has the capacity to create a benign and nibbling monster that eats away at your wellbeing, constently undermining you and your families happiness.
Young people, teens and adolescents: You see someone argumentative and stroppy and its called hormones, I see someone hasn't connected with them yet. Your hear someone shouting angrilly from their room, "I'm Okaayer," I see someone hurting and frightened. A kids bedroom is no longer an untidy chill palace and place of refuge, with a please knock sign, where they can close the door from the world outside. On line they are often abused and bullied, ridiculed, threatened, ganged up on, trolled, picked on, which forces them to withdraw from the outside world, leaving them isolated and feeling alone. Watch them, as much as they don't want to, they keep checking their mobiles every few seconds. Parents are the same as kids, look at familes on holiday at meal times? Everyone seems to fiddle with their mobile, picking it up, putting it down, looking for likes and positive messages no doubt. In between positive messages young people face abuse, ridicule, jibes, lies, piss takes from piers and people they know and horrible nasty and anonymous bullying trolls. Is this why increasing numbers of young people feel suicidal and suffer with stress related mental health problems?
Gay and transgender: You see a young rebelious Tom Boy, I see a girl who knows they're different. You see a quirky young and slightly gay acting Autistic boy and I see someone biologically determined from birth, with an acute inner awareness of their real identity and future gender. You see a boy wanting to be a girl and I see an incorrect infantile surgical intervention based on a parents traditional desire for a first born son, rather than what was obvious in nature. You see a withdrawn and masculine looking girl, isolated, confused and alone, wanting to be a boy and I see the possibility of misplaced religious conversion therapy and ignorance disguised as Gods Will. You see an aggressive mouthy young tattooed Hispanic Lesbian and I see the effects of prolonged persecution, isolation, social bigotry, parental violence and family abuse.
Alcohol: You see an intoxicated rough sleeper I see deprivation and circumstantial destitution. You see a heavy drinker, I see very deep social anxiety, despair, stress and chronic recurring unreleased trauma. Situational, curcumstantial, functional or genetic alcoholics deep inside, do not love themselves or feel good enough about anything in life, unless they are under a degree of self medication and intoxication. One circumstantial alcoholic said he started drinking aged 11 after his parents marriage broke down. Someone offered him a beer, he tried it and quite literally had an immediate way to drown his sorrows. One morning a rough sleeper picking through some bins looking for food, said after I gave him some change that he drank to excess every night so he could sleep through the cold. Later over coffee he shared that after his parents separated, he went to live with his granddad and within weeks he was unceremoniously kicked out onto the streets. Although he was traumatised and hurting, he was shoved out in the clothes he was wearing and little else. He went from a home, to rough sleeping in a few mindless moments.
Drugs: You see an addict I see an abused and unloved child. You see a disorientated junkie, I see someones son. You see a prostitute I see a vulnerable daughter seeking a father figure and lacking in love, or a single woman tottering on destitution with a family trying to survive. You see a pretty Eastern European in a grotty B&B, I see a modern day sex slave wanting a better life, coerced, vulnerable, trafficked by criminals and trapped in a vicious cycle of, violence, intimidation, addiction, rape and sexual abuse. You see heroin, I see low self esteem and a need for a substitute mother figure. You see cocaine I see fear and lack of a loving father figure. You see a pill head, I see careless and over prescribing of ant-depressants. There are many stories of occasional weekend social users becoming full on Friday, Saturday bingers, who eventually graduate and step over the line into hard core addiction. They all have similar early days experiences and life stories to other dependants. "I went to a party, some friends were smoking this stuff, I had a puff...... it was heroin and I lost myself. At a gathering, a chap offered me a drag of what I thought was cannabis, it wasn't! It was cannabis laced with crack. Later on he gave me a joint, I took a drag and this time, it really was crack. I was blown away. I went home, stole my parents cards and blew £1000, chasing the high that took me to the top of my miserable world. I never reached those heights again. My parents kicked me out, I lost my job, family and went to prison. Now I'm out, I cant manage without it. My dealer is violent and now I'm sex working."
Breast Cancer: You see cancer, I see pain and emotional hurt, anger, fear, neglect, abuse, borderline alcohol excess and crippling social anxiety. Any woman who has undergone a mastectomy or reconstructive surgery, their thoughts around losing a breast or the imbalance and comparison between the two can be off the scale. Having to look at the scars whilst automatically replaying the oncologists percentage survival predictions and the internal questions that always well up can be emotionally destructive. Cancer sufferers live with high levels of unrelenting stress, will the cancer return, survivors guilt, chemo brain, he/she doesn't love me, I look awful etc. Do they feel good enough? Often not. Do they love themselves for who they are now when looking at the scars of surgery? For many its hard to look and be greatful for life. Cancer brings people together in a new and loving way, or rips them apart, destroying individuals and families
It’s your treatment journey: Although surrounded by family and friends people in the cancer cycle are alone, because only they can walk the lonely, stressful and unknown path to recovery. How can anyone understand what they are going through? If your not wearing their shoes, you can't? You may see positive and optimistic courage as they adopt an attitude of taking up the fight and battling with cancer. But this leads to many desperate suffereres falling into the psychological illusion, that by not thinking about having had a cancer and staying positive, they will be able to get over it. Another illusion is by taking up the fight, raising money or becoming religious because it’s Gods word, everything will be equally ok. Having a cancer is bad enough, taking up a one way fight with a personal cancer causes even higher levels of stress, which left unchecked reduces the effectiveness of the immune system. Leave something in your will if you have cancer, has a double meaning with potentially destructive undertones to the unwary. These adverts scream out all the time from mainstream TV.
I'm not good enough: You see someone as argumentative, obstinate and unwilling to change, I see someone hasn't connected with them yet. You see angry denial, I see someone frightened, oppressed and hurting. And yet people still overcome their fears by feeling the fear, putting up a front and stepping up to the plate, treading the boards, auditioning for X Factor and achieving the impossible. They will have looked their problem straight in the eye and majestically and courageously faced bereavement, trauma, loss, lack of confidence, low self esteem, lack of self love and respect. Or with a pounding heart risen up like a Phoenix above bullying, verbal abuse, physical and emotional violence, sexual abuse, neglect, criticism, loneliness and isolation. Not feeling good enough can also result in a person stepping over the line into the criminal cycle and expressing life through pain, violence, anger, self harming, perfectionism, vulnerability, loss of confidence, promiscuity, drug and alcohol abuse, all manner of violent crime, criminal damage and suicide. Prisons are full of stressed out inmates of both genders with this profile.
Bottom line: When you do drugs, drink alcohol excessively, or binge coke on a Friday, work round the clock, screw yourself into the ground, put yourself at risk, always living on the edge, take a step back and ask yourself is this productive? Do you love yourself? Nothing naff, hands on heart, do you really love and respect yourself and your family? Why are you doing it? Who are you doing it for? Because if your blindly doing any of these things, thats existence and not much else. If you see this as the end, I see the beginning and you're future success story, because I see you in me, and in that everything becomes possible.
Conclusion: If any of the above is familiar, you are almost certainly coping with high levels of stress related issues! One way or other I am here to help by offering you an evidenced based self-help methodology that will teach you how to manage and resolve your underlying causes of stress.
Be reassured: I have 17 years experience in working with the general public, rough sleepers, drug and alcohol dependants, ex offenders, prisoners and people in the cancer cycle. I have extensive training in hypnotherapy, addiction counselling, parts therapy and NLP so my approach will vary. However I now major on Energy EFT, which also blew me away on successive trainings because of its enormous and straight forward healing potential. Energy EFT is on another level as it touches parts of the human condition like no other therapy is able to do.
What am I offering you: A structured and evidenced based therapy where you will learn how to manage and reduce your stress levels. This can lead to good self care, allowing you to grow emotionally and progressively love and really appreciate yourself and others maybe for the first time in years. This positive stress free change of being is an evolving process, that is attainable through a little daily dedication and practise over 2 to 8 appointments average. After that with continued practise it can (did for me) become a way of life.
Contact: Please give me a call which will be in strictest confidence. Maybe there will be some common ground, or you can ping me an email first of all requesting more information regarding 1 to 1 appointments, small intimate stress management support groups and training days, talks & demonstrations.
Ancient wisdom meets modern thought: On a final note Socrates born circa 470 BC, in Athens inadvertantly summed up the real 'Essence' of Modern Stress Management - "The Secret Of Change Is To Focus All Of Your Energy, Not On Fighting The Old, But On Building The New," and this is at the core of Modern Energy EFT and how I will approach your situation, supporting you on your journey to a brand new you.